First Step

Just the other day a professor asked our, mostly asleep, class what our greatest fear in life happens to be. The onslaught of answers were typical, robotic, and guarded, "Dying", "Public speaking", "small spaces", "midgets", etc. I sat there, and like the other drones, I gave my simplistic, brain-stew answer - which, I don't even recall what it was.

However, the question that our astute professor conjured went from sitting in the back of my head to slam-dancing throughout my entire being. "What is your greatest fear?" I chewed on it, and fought with it all that evening to the point where sleep was not an option. It was not, I realized, that the answers my fellow classmates had given bothered me as much as what struck me at 3:00 a.m. that kept me tossing in my ocean of sheets. The realization was as simple as it was complex, death, public speaking, flying, drowning, are all legitimate fears but these are subtitles for the main feature.

The biggest fear, I believe, for most of us is not how it all ends but rather how we spend our time from start to finish. My biggest fear is NOT living, not pursuing, not dreaming and chasing that dream. For so many of us, we have already given up on whatever it was that we had aspired to be at one point in time. A wise man, that is borderline insane to put it nicely, once told me, "A man that does not utilize all of his resources is a fool." The resignation of this statement pounds deep inside of me like a drum. "ALL of his resources...." This has to me, all of his talents, all of his might, all of his heart. All of that summed up so brilliantly, so simple.

So how do we do this? How does one live to the fullest? To be honest, I have no idea - I'm just writing a blog about it. But, with the little amount of time I've really dealt with this topic this is what I've come to understand. Live like all the cliché posters that annoy the hello-kitty out of you tell you to live; Like there's no tomorrow, with no fear, with all of your heart, with no regard. I believe to really live would be bordering, taunting the edge of insanity with a welcoming smile. What is this but one chance, one opportunity to impact as many 'travelers' as possible? Are we that afraid to truly touch happiness? Are we truly that terrified of going against the grain? I would submit that we are and so foolishly so.

I went to class the following week and thanked the professor for asking the question. I told him how substantial it had become and how it had opened my eyes. He, of course, was thankful and happy to hear that he had made an impact. But he said it doesn't stop there, the realization isn't going to change anything externally. Taking the first step, he said, is the most significant change one must make. But within that step, we can begin to recognize a life that we had only invisioned in the most blurred portions of our imaginations.

With that, I ask all of you, all THREE of you - What is your biggest fear?



If I dont post again till after the holidays - Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!


J.L. Copeland