I think the perplexity of friendship, or relationship is something that we don't spend enough time focused on as individuals. One could perceive, with the right train of thought, that this is an utterly, outlandish statement, or assessment as you might have it, given that each of us is engrained with an inherent desire to please and to be accepted. One might conclude, if they were so inclined, that relational issues, in fact, would be of utmost thought and concentration.

Back to my opening statement; there is a gregarious perplexity within the world of relationships, be it one of intimacy or just good ole' fashion bff's (as the "cool" kids say). I mentioned that the need for acceptance and appeasement of others and the inherent desire for both; every bit of what we do, in some way, is tied into that need. Be it our jobs, where we hang out, what football teams we like and dislike, what sports we play, what books we read, or even the cars we drive, they are all tied into what we deem a necessity for our social setting. But what we do not place in the forefront of our actions is what those relationships mean to us. Here is what I mean; if a friend loans us money when we are in a time of need, this is an action of friendship that is blatant. This act is a symbol professing the importance of the relationship between the two parties. It tells the two this, "we are good enough friends that I want to do this for you just because I care." In this act of good faith and monetary assistance reaffirmation of the bond is confirmed. But this is a tangible act and doesn't necessarily put a solid value on the relationship.

What I'm looking for is the intangible in the relationship. An intangible is this; the ability to be around a person and not say a word, to sit in a silence without awkwardness. It is also a friend that will listen to an error a friend makes without passing judgment that is unnecessary and/or one that would belittle the, already misguided, friend. Instead the information is gathered and understanding is derived from the error in an attempt to move past it without creating the same error in the future.

I must say that I'm fortunate enough to have several people in my life that fall on that side where the intangibles are far more important and understood than the tangible. These friends act in a way without ever expecting or desiring any reciprocation for their efforts. I have come to understand that what I value most in their friendship is the little moments, just being around them is what I find most rewarding. I draw from them and the character that they display and the attempts that they make to be who they are without wavering under any circumstance. They value what is most important to any of us; they do not care what car I drive, or what the size of my house is, but instead value my intangibles.

My belief is that it's these things that make our relationships so complex and simplistic at the same time. It's understanding those moments that are beyond a value sign and appreciating them while they last. We can't always say that we're fortunate enough to have these kinds of people in our lives at all times, so we must pay attention so that we may display the utmost appreciation to these kinds of relationships when we have them. This will, ultimately, deter us from every taking them for granted -the people or the relationship. Know that being able to laugh, cry, get angry, or to communicate with another person without fear of criticism doesn't come around that often. Hold on for dear life to that person and make sure that their actions ARE reciprocated through your own.

The Art of Write and Pretend

It's amazing how disciplined one has to be to carry the weight of a blog. Never mind a blog, writing, in general, is one of the ultimate disciplines one can attempt to master. It's easy for one to be opinionated, this is something I am devastatingly, annoying at to a fault. My brain never shuts off, as I'm sure many of you experience that just because you're horizontal on your sofa or in your bed does not mean your brain is ready for sleep.

On the contrary, this is when my head decides to lift off into the utmost atmospheres of my thought. Dissection of the hours, days, and weeks gone by begins at an overwhelmingly laborious rate; leaving my eye lids glued to the undercarriage of my eyebrows. This is when rehearsals begin as well. Conversations that I have had are finished, or conversations, issues, decisions are all played out, all while my body rests. I've also found that this is the time that writing becomes more fluid, it has more bend and shape to it, my mind frees itself of doubt and true art is allowed to take hold.

This feeling is most comparative to being on the brink of awakening while dangling a toe in the land of dreams. The haze of creation knows no bounds and runs free through endless thought and imagination. Capturing these thoughts are the trickiest portion of the process - how to illuminate, in words, the pictures the mind displays.

The most effective way I have found to do so is this; with my eyes wide open, write as if my eyes were shut. Allowing the back of my eyes to be the canvas for the story I'm attempting to illustrate. It becomes a slide reel of picture and sound with words running through the scenes like a pressing breeze over a body of water. It moves and flows together, guiding my thoughts to an end result. But the unnatural, confusing part for writing is that it has to be made an precedent over your time. Writing and emotional thought, or storytelling is usually sporadic - the thoughts or ideas come and go as we mosey through our days. So wrangling them up, finding the importance of making it a mandatory portion of our existence to sit and write our thoughts is the key. We train our brains to be ready for ignition once we sit in front of our pad or keyboard, to open up and let the life that is living inside of our minds free for awhile. As children we were masters of pretend, we lived in other worlds all while coinciding in the reality of this one - this mastery slowly fades with age and corrosion of time to an utter non-existence, for some. However, as we write we are free from these shackles and we can live within that mastery we once knew as children and express the worlds we see behind our eyes.

This is the beauty of the craft. This is the elegance of the discipline.